Teh Notes 0o
by Flat-Lining Inside
Summary: Notes Between different Cullens, Hales, and Swan! The first one was an actual note me and my best friend wrote lol! Co-writer and Best bud -Bella-: Preference-fuels-passion! She has two other really good stories, go check them out!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Note

A: Loser!

B: Bitch!

A: Sperm Breath, or not cause he wont do it HAHA

B: I hate you (

A: Now him and Tanya they might be louder than Rose and Emmett and that's LOUD

B: Omg! You are a heartless Bitch!

A: Or him and Jessica I didn't think he would go at it with her but WOW!

B: (silence)

A: But the loudest was definitely him and Lauren!

B:**I HATE You **

A: I mean wow! Oh did he tell you why he hates Jane? It's cause they did it and he loved it but she wouldn't do it again. B: Ya well… **Jasper's Gay for Mike Newton!**

A: Ya right. You might want to get Eddie. For the last hour him and Angela have been going at it, and I don't think they'll be done anytime soon.

B: Edward is NOT a man whore!

A: You want a bet! He is really good at it, too. I mean before me and Jasper. Got together together. J

B: To bad he dumped your sorry ass!

A: O he didn't Jazzy. Asked me to marry him so I broke it off, why do you think were so close?

B: (Silence)

A: Him and Rose have too. She is always so mad and mean because he dumped her.

B: (More Silence)

A: I kidding but you might want to prepare yourself. Eddie's self control around you is soon going to end! J

B: You are such a little kiss ass!

A: How?

B: (Stares at Alice like it's obvious)

A: I am not I mean look at this face

B: Please! That's your " I was holding it for a friend!" face.

A: What do you mean?

B: You doing the innocent face just proves that your guilty

A: Bitch…

B: IM TELLING EDWARD!!

A: Ooo scary!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: We dont own anything!

Ali: Hi Bella!

Bell: Poke

Ali: Bella….

Bell: Poke

Ali: Bella quit that!

Bell: Poke, Poke, Poke!

Ali: Damnit Bella! STOP POKING ME!!

Bell: Mwhahaha! POKE!!

Ali: I'm warning you!

Bell: Poke

Ali: This is your last chance!

Bell: PokePokePokePokePoke

Ali: Wait! I'm getting a vision!

Bell: Poke?

Ali: Edward just pulled up to some sleazy motel

Bell: -silence-

Ali: He's getting out of the car…

Bell: -silence-

Ali: He's walking towards a room…

Bell: -silence-

Ali: He pulls out a key, someone's waiting for him…

Bell: Rolls eyes…poke

Ali: He turns on the light, Tanya's sitting on the bed.

Bell: Gasp!

Ali: He smiles her favorite crooked smile.

Bell: cry…poke

Ali: He leans down and kisses her deeply…Bell: ??

Ali: They're both sitting on the bed…

Bell: 00

Ali: Would you look at that, Tanya just lost her shirt…

Bell: (

Ali: Wait! Where did Edward's pants go?

Bell: POKE!

Ali: Wow, I didn't know that Tanya was double-jointed…

Bell: lalalalalalalala! poke

Ali: Oh my god! Bom chika wah wah….

Bell: cries in the corner

Ali: Damn Edward, Gentleman my ass! That was just sick!

Bell: YOU EVIL BLOODSUCKING WHORE!! smack

Ali: -silence-

Bell: Ow!!

Ali: What?

Bell: I think I broke my hand….

Ali: Ah Fuck! Edward is going to kill me! (

Bell: Serves you right….

Ali: Wait! I'm getting another vision!

Bell: NOOO!!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

B: Hey Alice!

A: Hi! Bells I'm bored

B: Dido

A: …

B: Snape, Snape, Severest Snape

A: Dumbledore

B: Ron, Ron, Ron Weasley!

A: Hermione! Hermione! Hermione!

B: Harry Potter, Harry Potter, I'm Harry Potter!

A: I found the source of the mysterious ticking noise… It's a pipe bomb!

B: Yay! BOOM!

A: Mwahaha! Voldimort, Voldimort oooo Voldi Voldi Voldimort! Do do do do!

B: Whap! Wow, we have issues! Lol

A: Definatly…

B: BANANA PHONE!

A: Oo…


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: We own nothing!!

_Teh Note oo_

Bell: Please?!

Jazz: No.

B: Pwease Jazzy!?

J: No!

B: Pwetty Pwease with a chipmunk on top!!

J: NO Bella!

B: Ill tell Edward!

J: Eddie's hunting.

B: Damn you Jasper!!

J: Technically I am already damned Bella.

B: Jasper just help me its only a couple of problems.

J: No I refuse to help you cheat Bella.

B: PLEASE!!

J: There is nothing you can do to get me to help you.

B: Wanna bet?

J: Bella what are you thinking?

B: Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies. _I killed the puppies!!_

J: WTF?? What the hell is wrong with you?

B: Starving babies in Africa, Edward getting burned.

J: Bella stop!!

B: Tanya, Jessica, Lauren! Tanya, Jessica, Lauren! Jane!

J: Dear god make it stop!!

B: Edward! Bed!! No clothes!! All alone!!

J: Okay, okay! Bella stop I'll help you!! The answer to number 4 is A.

B: Thank you Jazzy!!

**A.N: SO SO SO SORRY I haven't updated in forever!! Please forgive?? I just started high school (Freshman), I like my Bestie much so it was hard to write but we are trying to get some chapter put together!! Review PLZ?! It makes us happy!!**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Teh Notes!!

A: Hi Bella!

B: Hey Alice, what's up?

A: Watching next weeks episode of Invader Zim

B: Lucky! I love that show!

A: I know! Lol Gir is the best!

B: I prefer Cheese!

A: But Gir is amazing! He even has a zipper!

B: Ya, but Cheese is lactose intolerant! How frikin' awesome is that?! His name is Cheese but he cant eat it!

A: But Gir has a flying moose!

B: Cheese has a go-kart with flaming bunnies!

A: Gir is a robot in a dog suit! How can you not love him?!

B: Gir is ok but Cheese is SUPRIOR!

A: rolls eyes

B: Cereal…

A: Waffles…

B: I like Cereal!

A: Gimme Waffles!

B: CEREAL!

A: WAFFLES!

B: Chocolate Milk!

A: Why my Piggy?!

B: Because god hates robot/dog things?

A: You heartless bitch!

B: That's what they call me! Lmao

A: mmhmfg…virgin prude…

B: You Whore! Well, well Gir's retarded

A: Cheese is gay!

B: Haha! Gay people are awesome so I win!

A: Damnit…Gir is still awesome!

B: Is not!

A: Is so!

B: Wow, we're really sad

A: Ya, we are…

B: He is not…

A: Is so!

_**AN: Hey! Sorry about the long wait for updates! Flat-LiningInside and I are starting high school so please be patient! We love reviews! They make us smile lol.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Teh Note Oo 6**

A: Hi!

R: Hey!

B: Hello!

A: So Emmett's Birthday is coming up…

B: Ello again!

R: Hi Bella! Ya I've already got his present!!

A: Isn't that more of a present to you Rose?

R: Ya but he'll like it just as much if not more so it's okay.

B: Wait! What are you getting him? I have no idea what to get Em?

R: I'm getting him lingerie! The outfit looks like a mouse.

A: Hmmm. Bells I think I might have an idea for what you should get him.

B: They have guy lingerie?

R: No its an outfit for me to wear but he will like to see it on me.

B: Wow Rose too much info. And what Ali?

R: You asked.

A: Rose don't torture Bells with mental images!

B: Ali what is your idea?

A: … don't reject just yet, okay, hear me out…

B: Ali? Just Tell Me!

R: Ohh your right Ali, good plan.

B: How does she know?

A: I already told her. Okay promise you will hear me out?

B: I promise, just tell me!

A: Okay, give Emmett a lap dance.

B: WHAT? No way!

A: You said you'd hear me out, okay. Give Emmett a lap dance, it will drive Edward crazy, then when your done had him a video game.

B: I cant do that! 1) I don't know how to give a lap dance. 2) Carlisle and Esme will be there. 3) I'm too clumsy and would mess up. 4) CARLISLE AND ESME WILL BE THERE!!

R: I can teach you to lap dance and get you confident enough.

A: And I'll make sure Carlisle and Esme aren't in the house or near it when you give him your present.

B: I still can't do it!

R: Why not?

B: It would scare Emmett and he wouldn't like it and Edward would be mad at me. I just can't.

A: Uh Bells your doing it, I just got a vision. Em. thought it was an awsome gift. Eddie dear will be FAR from mad!

B: Are you guys sure?

R: Yes Bella we are absolutely positive and besides you will be helping me out!

B: What?

R: Em. will be "Hyper!" Get me? So we have a week to train you!

A: Eeeppp!

B: Ok… let the torture begin!


	7. Chapter 7

**Teh Note 7 O_o**

B: OMG!! I cant believe you guys made me do that!!

A: Oh Bella Emmett loved it.

R: Ya Bells and it got him prepped him for my gift. ~giggle~

Em: Ya Bells I looooved it!!

A: Emmett shouldn't you be in class?

Em: History was boring, I mean we lived it.

R: True

B: Good thing we're in study hall so no one will notice

A: Yep yep! Gah you giving Emmy Bear a lap dance was awesome!! So what'd you and Edward do when he swooped you out of there?? ~wink wink~

B: Can we not talk about it??

Em: IM ON BOAT!!

B: What??

Em: Im on a boat! Talk a good hand look at the mother fuckin boat!

B: What the hell??

A: I got my swim trunks and my flippie-floppies

B: Seriously what??

Em: I'm ridin on a dolphin doin flips and shit, that dolphins splashin getting everybody all wet!!

A: Fuck land, Im on a boat, mother fucker. Fuck trees, I climb buoys, mother fucker.

B: Damn it! Whats going on?

Em: Arms spread wide on the starboard bow, Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow

A: Never thought I'd see the day, When a big boat comin my way

B: BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY, I FUCKED A MERMAID!!

A: Hey where'd Rose go??

B: Emmy's gone now too…..

~Moans~

B: Don't wanna know anymore!

A: Sadly I know ALL!!


End file.
